wow, what a long time.

So I finally got enough time to sit and do nothing. I am sitting at my friends parents house an hour away from my own and thought that i would write a little something to those who may be paying attention.
It has been a crazy world lately. I have been enjoying work as much as one can. I very much enjoy the people that i work with and think that they like me back. We seem to communicate well and it is nice to be able to be part of the fun instead of being the joke. I seem to be making more money and it is helping us keep up on the bills.
I have recently been doing physical therapy because the doc ordered it after finding out that my knee is still broken and in need of help. I thought that it was going well and the trainer seemed really optimistic. I was very excited because I wanted to be able to sleep through the night without pain killers and to go for a bike ride or exercise and cut down on my extra weight. Most importantly i was told that if the pysical therapy would work i wouldn't need surgery, which meant i could go on vacation with my family. Then we pushed my knee a little further and it caused extreme amounts of pain. The therapist then sent me back to the doc who recently said surgery. I don't know how to feel about the surgery except for scared. I am worried about taking the time out of work. I am also worried about all of the reprocutions of taking time out of work and not bing able to go on vacation. I know that lots of people recover very well out of these kinds of surgery. I think i am just worried because i do everything at my house. From putting the dishes in the empty dishwasher to taking out the trash to scrubbing the hard water out of the bathtub. C sometimes does the laundry when he can remember and T sometimes takes out the trash but they both need great congratulations and thanks like they climbed mount freaking everest. Neither of them mind living in a sess pool of nastyness as long as they don't have to do anything.
I wanted to move out on my own a little while ago. I am so tired of being the only one who tries hard to keep the house nice but instead of keeping it nice for just me i have to work and try hard for three grown ups. I havepicked out an apartment across town for me. I had it all worked out so that i could make mess and clean up only my mess. But then the stupid surgery. In all honesty i need them both there because i don't have anyone to grab adrink, or to get me something to eat. I don't have very many friends that would be able to help because they work 9-5's and have their own families. I just need to get through these next two months and i think that everything will be ok. Either I would have the ability to move or not, and to be able to take care of myself. Then maybe i can clean my own pan and not have to spend my ENTIRE day off cleaning the house. My brain is so scared and frustrated that i am not sure where to put different parts of my life decisions.
Today it was nice to get away from my house and enjoy the clean nice environment of someone elses. I work the next several days so maybe i can get away and hide there for a while.
I find that i don't want to call anyone at all because i don't want to explain why things are the way they are. When i explain the symptoms to others they say it is normal but if it is normal why am i frustrated and miserable all of the time. I wish there was another way.
Well had better go for now. Who knows maybe i will take a nap.
I hope others are well and finding something nice to enjoy during their days. Whether it be drink with a friend or a new purse they found at the store.
Talk to you soon......