So i had a dream the other night that really threw me for a loop. As a bit of background information for those of you who may not know, I had a boyfriend in highschool called Joe who died in a car accident the summer after i met him. He was my very first love and someone who has always been in my heart. I have missed him and thought of him for the last ten years and can't ever get him out of my head.
My dream consisted of myself talking to his parents about my current relationship with C. His Mum told me that I needed to let him go and let him out of my heart so that i could have room for C. She said that if i let Joe go then i would have room for C in my heart and it would fix all the problems in my relationship. That would mean i wouldn't be able to visit his grave or remember him as i pass the place where he crashed his car. She kept telling me in this dream that i had to let him go all together. It made my heart heavy and made me very sad. It is a very depressing feeling and knowing that you have lost such a wonderful thing and will never get it back.
What a message from my sub contious!!!!
So anyway, my thought process now is that whether if i quit looking for an awesome person in C that i saw in Joe, that will it make my relationship better. Or if i leave C and try to find someone that I loved like Joe, will i be alone forever. Was he my only shot or would life be hard with him like it is with C. AHHH...... I don't know what to think. I just try to see the best in C and in my relationship now and know that this could possibly be the best relationship i will ever have.
Talk to you later
1 comment:
The question to ask yourself is did you have to try as hard with Joe as you do with C? While it's hard to acknowledge the truth, it's sometimes theraputic and helps you move forward. Whatever you decide, I love you.
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